What the Hell Happened at Spring Opener?

By Tom Neal
Bigfoot Trails Basecamp | Independent Adventure Media

I don't remember what year this was. Hell, I don't remember a good chunk of the event.

I do remember riding to Easton, Washington, for the ABATE Spring Opener with my wife. We took off Friday to meet up with some friends who had already gotten out there and set up camp. I had to work while my boss took off early for the event. What an asshole... lol.

We got out there, set up camp, got settled in, and then out came the apple pie moonshine I had made. I took three gallons of the sticky, tasty stuff to share, but everybody was too scared to drink it. The funny part was that they'd all had their share of it at our house. Back then I had a bar in the basement, and many parties were had and lost down there. For a number of years, apple pie moonshine was my drink of choice.

Saturday morning we got up, grabbed some breakfast, and started drinking, because you can't be drunk by noon if you don't start drinking early. And we got a late start by sleeping in.

We wandered around checking out the vendors, watching the games, and just hanging out. I had a bottle of apple pie with me, and somewhere along the way the drinking continued. Later in the afternoon, the third gallon got cracked open. From there, things get a little fuzzy, which probably explains why I don't remember much of the rest of the day.

I do remember hanging out and bullshitting with everybody, then heading over to the neighbors' camp and doing more drinking and bullshitting with them.

After that, apparently I passed out.

The next thing I know, aliens had come down with a bright light, and one great big fucker was kicking me across the campground and over toward my tent.

Of course, it wasn't aliens.

It was my buddy Derek.

He'd come over with a flashlight and apparently decided that the best way to get me back to camp was to roll me across the campground. He got me into the tent, but apparently I refused to go to bed and kept escaping. I vaguely remember eventually giving in and going to sleep, although I apparently wasn't too concerned about being completely inside the tent.

I grabbed my pillow and went to sleep.

Except it wasn't a pillow.

It was a piece of firewood.

That piece of firewood ended up going home with me. My dear friend Derek decided to bring it back as a joke.

That joke eventually turned into my wife finding actual pillows that look like logs.

And I fucking love those things.

I hate normal pillows now.

Jokes on them.

Sunday morning we all woke up, tore down camp, packed everything up, fucked around for a while, and headed for home. I thought we were all going to make a group ride out of it since we all lived close to each other, but nope. Everybody took off and went their own way.

My wife and I ended up having a nice ride home by ourselves.

Then Monday morning I landed in the emergency room with my first battle with kidney stones.

We're pretty sure the sugar and dehydration from the weekend brought it on. Whether that's exactly what caused it or not, it sure seemed like my body was paying me back for the abuse.

And that's about all I remember of the ABATE Spring Opener.

Which, considering the three gallons of apple pie moonshine, is probably about right.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Tom Neal is the founder of Bigfoot Trails Basecamp, an independent adventure media project built around real experiences. He’s spent most of his life around vehicles, motorcycles, racing, travel, and projects that tend to take longer and cost more than originally planned.

After decades of doing all that stuff, he’s learned that the best stories usually aren’t the ones you planned. They’re the people you meet, the places you stumble across, the things that go wrong, and the moments you never expected.

That’s what he wants to capture with BTB.

He doesn’t want to write about adventure from the outside. He wants to go experience it, then tell you what happened.

Bigfoot Trails Basecamp | Independent Adventure Media